FML – Fuck My Liver

In frosh year of college, some friends were drinking at our place.  We took off one of the closet doors to make a beer pong table. (Who says you don’t learn anything in college?) After multiple games and more than enough drinks, we were ready to go out.  There was a local bar that would have us without much form of an ID.

We get to the bar and purchase some of the Coors Light pitchers that are on special.  A couple more hours and a couple more pitchers go by.  One of the guys on our floor has met a girl at the bar and is hanging out with her.  The rest of us introduce ourselves.  As the night dwindles down, we decide to head back to my room to continue drinking.  Our friend asks the girl if she wants to come back with us since she lives in the same dorm.  She accepts.

We get back to my room and discover that we are out of beer.  My floormate declares that he has some beer in his place.  The girl he brought back asks if she can wait with the rest of us.  He has no problem with it and heads down the hall to get more beer.  Her and I are sitting on my roommate’s bed and everyone is having their own conversations.  She turns to me and tells me that she thinks I’m cute.  Hammered and forgetting that another guy has brought her back, we begin making out and grabbing at each other.  She’s leaned over on top of me and everyone can see her thong begging to be taken off.

Our boy that went to get beer strolls back in with a six-pack.  The look on his face is priceless and can be described as being astonished and disappointed all at once.  We break off and she starts talking to him again as I sit there feeling only slightly guilty.  They decide to go back to his room and the rest of us laugh at the events that have transpired.  Over the next week, this same girl ends up hooking up with three other guys on our floor and is rightfully dubbed “1st Floor Whore”.  A nickname was never more fitting.  Fuck my liver.