FML – Fuck My Liver

It started out as your average Friday night. Not really expecting too much, and not really going out of your way to make it happen. We consumed a few drinks before hitting the bars to amp things up a notch.

The night got interesting when my memory started to dim. At a college bar with plenty of hot trim, I ran into my best friend from high school. Obviously from hanging out with me in the past, he was down for a knockout drag out good time.

We decided to ditch the bush league establishment and hit up a club where my friend was on the permanent VIP list.

Yeah, I know I’m big time.

I don’t really recall what drinks were consumed or what events transpired. Apparently, it took a 20 minute cab ride to the classiest strip club in town to spur my memory. I’m talking about the strip club located in the white trash part of town. I’m talking straight class.

Once I had come to, I was staring at freaks on stage and perverts paying for their drug addiction. It was $1 for a plastic cup that they had to keep refilling with brew. There weren’t really any attractive girls, although they were naked so Sergio wasn’t complaining.

No lap dances or private room action to report. Although my friend and I were thoroughly enjoying our 2 hours of extended drinking. The clock struck 4 and the bouncers were anxious to get everyone out.

We left without incident and there was a cab waiting to take us back into the city. Inebriated me struck up a convo with the cabbie. All was well until we heard a distinct yacking sound from the back of the van.

“What was that?” the cabbie asked.

Shit faced me was quick to reassure the cabbie that my friend tends to make that sound from time to time.

Yeah, he threw up. At least it took until we were home for the cabbie to know that he blew chunks in his ride. He was not a happy camper to say the least. The cabbie mother f-ing my friend was pure entertainment.

He gave the cabbie extra cash to get his whip cleaned. To my delight, I crashed on his couch instead of making the trek back to my place.

Tomorrow came fast and my body could only grin and bare as I inflicted more damage upon it. For the next day was Halloween and I was again ready to push it to the max. Fuck My Liver.