At parties I unclog toilets to get my biceps all swole up
What was I thinking?
It’s 1:30AM and I gotta get laid tonight! C’mon I’d slow pump Susan Boyle right now and look her in the eyes the whole time. I know what it is, it’s this fucking barrel. Should have went convertible style… fucking topless. Where is the chunky girl I laughed at earlier? I’m going to walk up to her and say “What would you doooo-ewwww-ooooo for a Klondike bar?” and lick her face infront of my roomates.
I can’t believe that bitch flushed a tampon down my toilet. It was probably that chick who laughed when I told her what I was for Halloween. Fuck her, she didn’t have the mental wherewithal to understand my Mardi Gras beads, Dr. Suess cap (genius), my god damn barrel, and a garnish of flip-flops.
Wow, my bicep veins are poppin like Lil’ Mama’s Lip Gloss. DAMN.
Look at my ARMS freshmen! My arms going to look fucking sweet after this. Fuck, I’m still going to hook up.
Bacne? Nah… well my back is just ribbed for your pleasure!
