FML – Fuck My Liver

Working in the restaurant industry is tough enough.  Figuring out what’s going on after you leave work is a struggle at the very least, especially without a car.

On this particular night, the great Sergio had blessed his regular dive bar with his presence.   Several after hour beers and shots had left my liver fearing for the worst.

After hours had let out.

Sergio strolled to the potential bus stop for a ride home.   I waited for a good 30 minutes before a seemingly upstanding citizen offered me a ride home.

Yeah, he was a Jitney.  Yep, he was African American.  Yes, he seemed really willing to help at first.

He took me up on my $10 offer to drive me to up the hill to my place.  Smooth sailing so far, although he definitely picked up on the fact that I was blasted.  Conversation was kept to a minimum until the very end when I reached my destination.

Must have been the alcohol talking because stupid me blurted out, “Hey man, you happen to have any weed on you?”

The Jitney offered to take me to meet one of his boys nearby for a late night pickup.  Looking for more drunken adventure, Sergio took him up on his offer.  Forked over another $20 for the greenery in advance, was definitely out of mind.

He took me back down the hill to meet the potential seller.  “Alright, walk around the corner and he will be waiting to hand you the good stuff.”  That sounded really shady but alcohol had me feeling fearless.  Hop up out the whip, round the corner in great anticipation only to find that there was not even a single person outside.

Sergio had been played.  Not only that but looking back the Jitney had sped away.  He stranded me in a fucking ghost town at 4 am.  Turns out I was just a few blocks from where he had originally picked me up.

Having wasted $30 and having could have been in my warm bed already, I was in a state of drunken bewilderment.  This time I dialed a taxi service just to be safe.  Fuck My Liver and that Jitney, I know you’re out there!