Christmas Punch
I’m not going to lie, but this wasn’t one of my better moments. Considering the fact that I’m a dick to just about everyone, I figured something like this would eventually happen. But not at a time when I wasn’t being an asshole.
So after my family dinner and necessary libations, I head out with the crew. We have an annual tradition to go out drinking on Christmas night. I would think this would be a tradition that most can agree with. We pregame for a bit, then head out to a dive bar.
Other friends meet up with us, so we probably have a group about 15 strong. We continue to drink there for a couple of hours and my friends decide that they want to go to another bar. I run into some other friends and hang back for a few. My friends tell me the place they’re going (a bar about four blocks away) and head out. After ripping some shots with the guys I hung back with, I decide to roll to the other bar.
I’m walking down the street fairly briskly and walk around two guys. They something to me and I ignore it. Then they repeat it, but I’m pretty drunk and still don’t get it. I turn around and say, “What’s up?”. They just stare at me. So I say, “I’m sorry man. I just didn’t hear you. Merry Christmas though.” Then I turn back around to continue on my way. I’m not fudging any of that. I wasn’t an asshole or a dick in any way. About five seconds later, I’m on the ground. My head is throbbing. I’ve just been knocked the fuck out. The guy says, “Did you hear that?” and keeps going. No clue if they walked or ran. I was stunned.
I gather myself, get up, and walk into the nearest bar, where I happen to know most of the workers and the owner. It was freezing cold out so I had no idea what kind of damage had been done. I walk in and see one of the owners and ask him how my ear looks. “Holy shit,” he says. He grabs me some alcohol to clean out the wound (not the good kind). I go into the bathroom and see that my ear is split open. I clean it the best I can, grab some water, and collect my thoughts.
I meet up with my friends at the bar, rip a shot, and drink half a beer. It’s time for me to head home. I probably should have gotten stitches, but was too fucked up to worry about that. In my own medical opinion, I ended up with a perforated eardrum and was only about to hear about 60% out of that ear for the next couple of weeks. I’m obviously still scarred…both physically and mentally. But it’s nothing that more drinking won’t fix!
Fuck my liver.
