Fuck My Liver

I met this girl at a party in college (where else, right?).  She had an athletic body, being on the cross-country team, with a real cute face.  So I ended up inviting her and her friends to come over to my friend’s place for a party one weekend.  She stuck to a chair by the kitchen island for the majority of the time, but I played it right: hanging out long enough with her so she wouldn’t feel like I was ignoring her, but not so long as to seem like I was trying too hard.  I think this girl is really decent, but she seems shy.  So I figure that more drinks will get us both a little more open to each other.  We end up polishing a bottle of Irish Mist before it’s time to go home.  Needless to say, we’re pretty drunk.

One of her friends drives us all back to our apartment complex.  (She actually lived directly one floor above me).  Once back, I ask her if she wants to come hang out at my place.  Oh, she does.  We get into my apartment and waste no time.  I slam her against the wall and start making out with her.  I had two roommates at the time.  The one I shared a room with was out of town and the other was in his room.  We head straight to my bedroom.  The kissing continues as we pull each others’ clothes off.  Her body was smooth and tone.  I start kissing her body and go down.  I would say that she’s smitten by that.  I come back up and get ready for the show.

She stops me and asks if I have a condom.  I sigh.  “I don’t,” I reply.  She doesn’t really understand why I wouldn’t have condoms, but says that she won’t have sex without it.  Then she tells me that she has some in her room and she could get them.  She’s extremely excited to get this thing going.  My roommate later tells me that he could hear her literally run up the stairs to get one and back down.  While she’s running up to her room, I figure I’ll take a piss.  I hadn’t gone in hours and drank, a lot.

She gets back and we start making out again and she’s feeling my nether regions.  What the fuck?  I can’t get hard.  I don’t know if my mistake of going to the bathroom while she was gone is what ruined me, but I’m fucked.  And not literally.  I try everything to get up.  I’m thinking of the random, hot sex I’m about to have.  I have her stroking it, sucking it.  Nothing is working.  After ten minutes or so, she’s had enough.  I mean, she’s literally pissed at me.  She tells me that she’s just going to head up to bed.  I couldn’t be more embarrassed.  I ask her to spend the night, but she declines, with good reason.  I end up passing out in my bed, naked and alone.

As it turns out, I really hit the wrong button on this girl.  She removed me as a Facebook friend and wouldn’t even look my direction at school if we passed each other.  To this day, if I see her out anywhere, we treat each other like total strangers.  Fuck my liver…and my whiskey dick

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