FML – Fuck My Liver

Sergio was in a tough spot, having not seen pink in several months, I was determined to see things change. Or maybe it was dumb luck I ran into a prospect at a notorious afterhour spot.

The action did not happen on that fateful night; rather she gave me her number and challenged the great Sergio to call her the next day. I guess most guys didn’t. Who could blame them after you read the story?

The call was made, plans were made, we hung out a few days following our 3 am encounter.

Out of work early, just in time to meet up with you know who after her annual Christmas party. She scooped me from a dive bar to go hang out a couple of my buddies for the evening. Somewhat sober, Bitch was crazy.

Stressed the fact she was extremely Russian and could only consume “Stoli Elite” vodka. Bar didn’t have it, not the reason she left, but she wasn’t there for more than an hour. Kiss on the cheek, and she was off to be shady with another man, so Sergio thought.

Couldn’t consume alcohol fast enough, shots couldn’t have been purchased at a faster pace. No sooner do I key into my door, the shady chick is blowing my phone up. Curious and desperate me answered the phone.

Yeah, she’s still out and about. Yes, she wanted the address. Of course, she showed up.

The first words she uttered through my front door were “I want you for more than one night!” Not quite sure what the response was to that but no need to say what happened after.

Sergio came, morning came, and it was time for an attempt at pillow talk. Sergio showed no rust in conversating. She spewed out the fact that her dad is a preacher and asked if that was bad that she just one night standed.

“Ahhh, it’s different.” (and kind of hot considering you had broken the slump)

She left early in the morning and texted me only one word… a simple “Thanks”. To which, I replied “Anytime.” Fuck My Liver.