Sucker Punching a Pussy

holdingface

I have mentioned before that I do not like to fight and I try to stay true to that.  But there are times when you are extremely intoxicated and someone just gets way under your skin.  This was one of those times.

It’s the usual Friday night debauchery one night in college.  We pregame in the dorms with a group of people and then head to a party.  Beers are drank, shots and ripped, and jungle juice is pounded.  It’s probably around midnight when we all decide to head to our favorite dive bar.  Once inside, the shots continue as I’m drinking Red Bull and vodkas.  I look to the back and see this guy that I hate.

Now let me fill you in:  This guy was like best friends with my girlfriend of the time.  She was smoking hot so of course I was going to be slightly jealous.  They hung out way too much for my liking and he used to get her gifts and drive her around, which is suspect in my book.  I never got overly concerned though cause he was one of those white guys that dresses and acts black.  His demeanor screamed douchebag from miles away.  Although I had no proof at the time, I was sure that he was trying to fuck her behind my back [which would later happen].  My friends all knew about this creep too.  Back to the story:

I’m out with my friends and having a good time so I figure that it’s not worth the aggravation of letting it bother me that’s he’s there.  But this confrontation could not be avoided.  He comes up to me about twenty minutes later.  Our exchange goes like this:

Creep: What’s up, man?
Ace: What’s up?
Creep: You’re buddy just called me a pussy.
Ace: Okay.
Creep: I know you told him to say that.
Ace: Although I agree with him, I didn’t tell him to say that.
Creep: That’s completely out of line.
Ace: (I get in his face) Out of line?  You’re calling me out of line?
Creep:  Dude, don’t touch me.  Get out of my face.

Are you kidding me?  With the way this asshole has been acting with my girl? Something snaps in me.  I yell, “YOU HAVE BEEN TAKING MY GIRLFRIEND OUT AND BUYING HER GIFTS!! AND YOU’RE CALLING ME OUT OF LINE!?!”  Then without warning, I throw a left and punch him in the face.  He staggers back a little and grabs his face with a dumbfounded look on it.  “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU,” I yell at him.  I slam my glass off the ground and try to get to him.  My friends grab me and are holding me back.  “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!”

The place is small and everyone is just looking on with no idea what I’m so angry about.  The bartenders have seen the whole thing though.  They come over and promptly kick him out of the bar.  My friends settle me down and the bartender gives me a drink on the house.  I was yelling, I slammed my glass off the floor, and I punched someone, but he got kicked out?  We celebrate the ‘victory’ with shots.  Fuck my liver.

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Sucker Punching a Pussy3.052

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5 Comments

  1. You hit him from the left, he hit your girl from the back . . . Creep – 1 Ace – 0

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  2. I disagree. Cheating girlfriends are a dime a dozen, and banging somebody’s girl is easy. But punching a guy, breaking a glass, yelling in a bar, and having the OTHER guy get kicked out is rare. You win in my book Ace.

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  3. Haha, thanks. And don’t worry gentlemen, I get plenty of ass. But the stories where I got ass are just not as funny as the ones that go wrong. I’ll write some of the ones that ended in success shorty…

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  4. Skunk you poor pathetic bastard, black eyes fade but the memory of punishing Ace’s broad is a memory he will value for a life time

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

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