FML – Fuck My Liver

Back in 2003, I was sitting in my dorm room on Sunday night, drinking and watching the Super Bowl.  It was a fairly uneventful Sunday night.  For some reason, a lot of my friends were away on this day.  My girlfriend at the time was one of those friends.  I watched the game in the common area with some of the guys on the floor, but the game became a blowout and got boring so I went back to my room.

I kept drinking through halftime and, being alone, wished my girl was in town so I could get some.  The previous year I had a different girlfriend and remembered that we had sex during Super Bowl 36.  I thought it would be nice to start a tradition.  My ex and I had kept up minimal contact, but contact nonetheless.  I figure that I’ll see what she’s up to.  I send out a feeler text and she responds.  After minor flirxting, I arrange to have her come over to my place to hang out.

She arrives and I make us both another drink.  Repercussions aside, we start getting close.  But she has a new boyfriend at the time as well, so I’m not sure on her intentions.  I’m drunk enough that I become fearless and expose my plan to start a tradition.  She seems hesitant at first.  Then she explains that she really likes her new guy and doesn’t want to cheat on him.  We’ve already been making out, so we get into a barter of what can be excahnged.

She finally settles and meets me in the middle.  She says that she would consider sex cheating, but that oral sex would be okay.  How this makes sense, I’ll never understand, but I’m on the winning side so I’m not about to argue with her.  She sits me in my chair, pulls my pants off, and goes down.  Before I know it, I’m sitting there watching her and the Super Bowl with a beer in my hand.  Fuck my liver.