The Ultimate Walk of Shame
Posted by Sergio on 7/02/09 • Categorized as Drunk Tank, WTF • 
Stumble It!
Thought I was dating this girl for a while. Turns out, she was just looking for a constant rebound and Sergio was that lucky guy in a way.
How I met her wasn’t important. The fact that I met her again at the freshmen girl hunting ground made all the difference. The Ultimate Under Age Bar, just down the street from where me and my friends attended university.
We began hooking up and never really looked back.
Yeah, she insisted on condoms. So yeah, I bought the 30 pack of Trojans off the pharmacy intern at the local supermarket.
We headed down a few blocks for a another consecutive night of free beer pitchers and jager bombs. Damn, she could drink. Or at least one would have thought.
Between her putting back beers and flirting with the local hunters, she was in a state of intoxicated jubilee.
Sergio couldn’t help but mean-mug the would-be competition and flipped the “Crush Alcohol” switch. Bombs, Bombs, Bombs, and more Bombs. Sure enough, the barfly flew back into my arms and was ready to be taken back to the crib.
Smashed, I let her in my place. Sure enough, she passed out on my bed seconds after entering.
Sergio went to party with the other resident alcoholics. Sergio woke up in the morning to a great surprise.
She had drenched my bed with her drunken urine.
She saddeled up kind of early and left with my damp bed sheets in my see-through hamper. She was on her way to wash it by foot. She walked through and all the way across campus with my piss covered linen. She fucking deserved it. Fuck My Liver.
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