FML – Fuck My Liver

This summer, I had the privilege of taking a trip to NYC on my workplace’s dime. On my last night in town, a coworker and I head out right after work to hit up happy hour with a few people that he knows at Ulysses Folk House. We begin drinking and bullshitting. The place is packed. The group that we met was two guys and three girls. I didn’t know any of them previously and tread lightly to feel out which girls were with which guys. We continued to drink, skipping dinner (the story of my life). Finally figuring out that no one there was with anyone, I set my sights on one.

One of the guys and one of the girls ended up leaving because that’s what non-fun people do at happy hours, even though, to their credit, they did hang for about four hours. The rest of us ripped some shots and decided that it was time to go to another bar. The last remaining guy with us mentions a whiskey bar that is supposed to be good on Thursdays, aptly named ‘Whiskey Bar’.  So we flag down a cab and roll out. I’m toasted by this point.

While not crowded by any means, there are definitely some fine-looking women at this bar. Drinks and shots are ordered. Two smoking hot girls are sitting there playing a bar game, so me and my buddy start flirting with them. Ten minutes go by and I’ve already forgotten about the girl that I came with and also what her name was. So I meander back over to her, where she’s talking to the other guy we came with. I find out that she’s actually in NYC from Boston just to visit this guy and is staying at his place. She stresses the fact that they’re only friends.

After a few more drinks, I’m completely shitfaced. I try to talk her into coming to my hotel, but she says that her stuff is at this guy’s place and he would be pissed if she didn’t stay there. She’s torn up too, so in one last fleeting attempt I get her number and try to use the ‘why not’ method.  In my head it made sense. I point out to her that we’re both just visiting New York and that it’s our last night in town. We’re obviously not going to see each other again, so why not have some fun?

I’ve never actually tried that before, but it worked. She drunkenly understands what I’m talking about and agrees to get her things. She hops in a cab and is off to the other dude’s place while he stays with us at the bar. I finish my drink and talk to the rest of the group that’s there, but it’s apparent that I need to be heading back. So I leave the bar without saying goodbye and get my own cab. She texts me for the address as I’m on my way to my hotel.

She shows up around 1am and comes up to my room. We get into bed and start making out. I get her naked and the rest is history. She leaves at 6am to catch her bus back to Boston and I sleep a few more hours before work. I was glad to get some strange on my business trip, but still can’t recall her name. I woke up in the morning to see that I saved her number as ‘NY Boston’. It’s immediately deleted. Fuck my liver.