FML – Fuck My Liver

I had been seeing this girl (we’ll call her Randi) that I went to college with for a couple of months.  It wasn’t too serious.  We had been on a couple of dates and hooked up a few times.  She’s wasn’t exactly what I was looking for in a girlfriend (especially since I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend).  I had dated her for a few weeks in college, but she was a virgin so that didn’t work out well for me at the time. 

Now I’m not sure if she considered me her boyfriend or not at this point, but the discussion never happened, so I was under the assumption that I was not.  One summer night, she had a friend staying at her place (we’ll call her Mandi) because they were going out on the town for the night.  Let me quickly mention that Mandi had a boyfriend at this time and had already hooked up with The Hoss.  Randi asked me to meet up with her at some point, but I wasn’t about to hang out with her all night.

So I went out with some friends in the usual fashion.  We pregame, rip shots, and pound beers all night.  Around 1:00am, I’m feeling pretty good (and horny) and decide that it’s time to meet up with Randi.  We flirxt (textual flirting) for a bit and plan to meet up.  I head to the club where her and Mandi are hanging out and continue drinking.  We’re joking around and having a good time together, but the club is shutting down.  Randi asks me to come back with them.  Haha, but of course.

We get back and drink a little more, then head to bed.  Well Randi isn’t going to let her friend sleep on the couch, so she invites her to sleep with us.  NICE.  Everyone gets changed.  Bras and underwear are thrown aside.  We’re all lying in bed and the girls are getting frisky.  Randi starts making out with me and we’re getting touchy.  Mandi jokingly tells her to cut it out, but she says it likes she’s jealous.  So Randi starts kissing on Mandi.  Then she pulls her t-shirt up and puts it over Mandi’s head.  This is going in the right direction.

I’m in awe right now as this had not happened to me at this point.  I’m rolling around with them and we return to our original positions with me in between them.  I’m not really sure if they’re down with this happening, but I’m drunk and decide to go for it.  As I’m kissing Randi, I gently begin to rub Mandi’s thigh.  She blurts out angrily, “Whose hand is that?”  FUCK!  Randi asks what I’m doing and I just play it off as a mistake. 

The girls decide that it’s time to go to sleep.  How the hell am I supposed to sleep after that?  After getting that worked up, there’s no way I can just lay in between them and go to sleep.  I go downstairs and crack a beer.  Fuck my liver.