Unsportsmanlike Conduct
In early 2009, the Steelers were making their second Super Bowl run in four years. Bur first they had to make it through the AFC Championship game against the hated Ravens. Obviously it was time to get shitface drunk. Sergio, The Hoss, myself, and some others headed out a little while before the game. It’s the usual pregame debauchery at one bar as we pound beers and talk about the game. It wasn’t the best bar for watching the game, so we decided right beforehand to head to another bar across the street.
There was a decent crowd, but plenty of room for us to buy ridiculous amounts of shots. It’s the first half and we’re already on to mixed drinks. Jumping out to a 13-7 lead at the end of the first half, my friends and I are already swaying. It’s not possible to put into words exactly how much we can drink, but we push the limits for playoff games.
During halftime, we head to another bar a block away. There’s a line outside and they aren’t even letting people in because it’s so packed. Luckily, I have built up a relationship with many of the bars in the area considering how much I hung out there during and after college. I walk to the front of the line and ask if I can get the owner real quick. He sees me and lets us all in. Fantastic. We continue to slam drinks in the second half. As Baltimore pulls within two points in the 4th quarter, I’m drinking mixed drinks about every first down. The Steelers score again, bringing on more shots, and hold on to win the game. Elation can’t describe the feeling we were going through as we’re all jumping around and hugging each other. After a little while, some of the girls we were with wanted to head to a club to continue celebrating.
Considering the fact that you could have talked me into a trip to the moon at this point, we’re completely game. Once there, we order more drinks and hit the dance floor. Apparently there were a couple of guys that didn’t like how drunk we were (or that we were Steelers fans, I’m not sure). I have no idea what was said, but all of a sudden one of them says something to Sergio and pushes him the the ground. The Hoss looks at him and tells the guy to say the same thing to him. As soon as the guy starts talking, The Hoss goes at him and starts throwing punches. I immediately grab his friend and start fighting as well. This guy had no intention of getting involved as he just curled down as I’m trying to uppercut him. One of the girls that are with us even starts pouring her beer on one of them. In a frenzy, the bouncers run over and restrain us as we continue to throw punches.
The guys that we were fighting get kicked out of the bar. Again, knowing people helps. We finish our drinks and figure that it’s time to roll back as the night winds down. Our victory only enhanced the victory of our football team. We fought for their honor. Or that’s probably what I was thinking as I passed out. Fuck my liver.
