FML – Fuck My Liver

Friday evening at the restaurant had wrapped up and we were looking for a stress release after a hard day’s work.  Lucky for us, the night was still young.

We headed to the usual dive bar spot with serious intentions of doing damage.  Crown Royal and Yuenglings did not disappoint.  The coworker I was rolling with for the evening was white trash to the T.  Let’s call him Chuck, he was born and raised on Pittsburgh’s historic Southside.

Yes, it was very interesting hanging back watching Chuck interact with the fellow drunks.  Several games of darts and god knows what else went on, but the bar was nearing its end.  Sure enough, Chuck’s childhood friend strolled into the shithole for last call.

Chuck decided we should roll to this guy’s after-hours establishment.  I got in a car with a complete stranger along with Chuck and headed back to a place that had been hyped as “Mini Vegas”.

We showed up at an abandoned house in some shitty suburb just outside the city.  Several knocks at the door and it was the equivalent of entering a speakeasy.

Yeah, we knew the password.

Ordered beers and Chuck’s childhood friend convinced us to sit down at the Texas Holdem table.  The game wasn’t that interesting, mainly because there were strippers and drug dealers rolling in and out of the joint.

This place seemed to have so many secret rooms; it felt as if I was playing Clue.  Sergio sniffed out the rooms where after-hours strippers aka prostitutes got their hustle on.  Lucky for Sergio’s dick, he did not enter said rooms.

I can still remember the distinctive moaning coming from the hallway.  Sounded like a Zoo exhibit.  Somehow I convinced Chuck that it was time to go, it was day light for fuck’s sake.

Lucky for us, we were able to bum a ride off these somewhat sober chicks back into town.  Her friend was balling her eyes out in the passenger seat while the two were passing an 8-ball back and forth.  Let myself out as soon as I spotted my car.  It had just started to downpour and it was daylight.  Work in several hours.  Fuck My Liver.