The xXx Bottle Race
There was a weekend in college when a lot of people were out of town for the holidays and the weather was horrible . My roommates at the time decided that it wasn’t even worth going out this night. We each buy our own bottle of liquor and plan to get fucked up at the apartment.
Sitting at home and drinking with your friends can be a good time, but having a game to play makes things more entertaining. One of the guys had borrowed the movie ‘xXx’ with Vin Diesel and none of us had seen it yet. We decided to start the night by playing a game while watching the movie. We know that the movie is action-packed and slightly ridiculous. So we agree that everytime Vin Diesel does something ridiculous that would never happen in real life, we’ll do a shot. I highly recommend that no one ever try this.
We’re about half an hour into the movie and half of our bottles are already gone. Sitting down and doing seven or eight shots in your first half hour of drinking is a horrible idea. We’re already feeling the effect. Now, one of my roommates and I are smart enough to agree to stop this nonsense. We know that if we continue the rest of the movie at this pace, regrettable things are going to happen (as you’ll soon see).
Our roommate is already fucked up. He calls us pussies for not continuing to drink at this pace. (Note that we didn’t quit drinking. We just didn’t want to play the game anymore). So we concede the victory to him, if you want to call this a victory. He continues to go strong and finishes his bottle by the time the movie is over. Now this guy doesn’t drink nearly as much as the rest of us and the effects of this are quickly noticed.
He stumbles around for a while until he’s full-out fucked up and ready to crash. He goes into our kitchen to get a drink and doesn’t emerge for a few minutes. I go to see what’s up and he’s passed out on the floor with the kitchen rug over him like a blanket. And this is a college apartment, not some nice house. The rug was disgusting just to walk on, let alone sleep with. I turn on the light and try to wake him up. He gets up, turns the light off, and grabs a bowl to use as a pillow. This is by far the most uncomfortable sleeping arrangement I have seen. Fuck it, he can sleep it off.
We continue drinking in the other room. A couple of hours later, I hear some rumbling from the main room where our friend had passed out. I’m pretty fucked up at this point as well, just not as bad as him. I go out to check on my friend and see him walk over to the coffee table. “Dude, what are you doing?”, I ask. No answer. He pulls his pants down. ”Yo, wake up! WHAT THE FUCK?” He proceeds to sit on the coffee table and begin pissing. My God.
I shake my head in amazement. I had been drinking for a long time and never seen anyone act this way. Fuck it though. He can pass out and deal with it in the morning. I make myself another drink, head to my bedroom, and lock my door. Fuck my liver…and my coffee table.
